Speaker 1: 0:00

Alright, serious, serious. What's that? I don't know how to be serious. That's who my boss always says you don't know how to be serious. I'm like, well, I'm serious at chillin.

Speaker 2: 0:10

So that's the dude. That's right, right, there you need.

Speaker 1: 0:15

I should have got you a fucking mudslider, white Russian wait, russian, we should have got you Too much dairy today. Already had a quarter pound of cheese.

Speaker 2: 0:25

You had a quarter pound of cheese. Yes not a quarter pounder with cheese.

Speaker 1: 0:30

No Quarter pound of cheese go to cheese.

Speaker 2: 0:34

Hey, hold on backup. Thank you for tuning in to the redacted podcast. We have our guest here who's agreed to come on under the condition that he's Anonymous, as identities not revealed. He's just the dude. We're just gonna call him the dude. He kind of looks like the dude. He acts like the dude. It's cool, I like it. Um, back there in the sand on the soundboard we have Pamela. She's been sworn to secrecy. She's not gonna reveal who he is. And yeah, man, thanks for coming in, thanks for being on the show. You get some interesting shit.

Speaker 1: 1:47

Thank you.

Speaker 2: 1:48

You really do, and when, I Don't know, we first interacted or we were emailing. I got to read some of your, your writings, and I guess that's what drew me to it, um, because you're an extremely talented writer and you have a fuck ton to say. So I was like, fuck it, we've got to get this, this guy, on the show. We, we got to talk with him, we got to pick his brain, we got to see what kind of a life he's lived, because it's interesting as fuck. So, um, I guess you know if we're gonna tell the story and talk about it like, where did you kind of start? Where did you grow up? Just kind of briefly, so we can get a picture of when you were at before this.

Speaker 1: 2:34

Well, I started it as a sexual act with my parents. They uh fire.

Speaker 2: 2:41

No shit me too.

Speaker 1: 2:43

So that's what. That's where I started. Was my parents fucking? So I started like that and I ended up here on On your podcast.

Speaker 2: 2:54

Man, what a journey, Wow, what a Okay. So more specifically um, where did you, where did you kind of grow up like what kind of city area?

Speaker 1: 3:08

where I grew up.

Speaker 2: 3:09

I like to say we're on a journey that I grew up at a emotional health facility.

Speaker 1: 3:15

That's where I grew up, you know. Prior to that I was just a punk and Now I feel like a man, so I'm really thankful for my time. You know some behavioral health.

Speaker 2: 3:29

What's it? What the fuck's? An emotional health facility.

Speaker 1: 3:32

Um, I can't give the name away, but it's just any sort of you know place that works on behavioral health, emotional, mental health, therapists, you know group sessions what age were you? I turned 28, yeah, when Saturn returned at 28. Actually, I started going to therapy. Around the same time, I started living in the van okay.

Speaker 2: 4:01

Okay, you know, was that an inpatient thing?

Speaker 1: 4:05

Mmm, no, I was not required to go. Was outpatient. Okay, I was there on my own volition. I Started to sign up for it when my relationship was breaking down.

Speaker 2: 4:17

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 4:17

I was in a relationship with a woman and she was telling me my relate. You know the relationship is breaking down?

Speaker 2: 4:24

Yeah, in your mid to late 20s.

Speaker 1: 4:29

Yeah, yeah and she's much older and and 50 something.

Speaker 2: 4:38

Yeah, okay. Beautiful model they call that a cougar.

Speaker 1: 4:42

Yeah, I guess you could call it that okay, cougar hot. She was like a lion. Oh my god, whoo beautiful blonde hair, mmm.

Speaker 2: 4:53

And this was. This was like up in what, what city? North of Philly okay, north of Philly, okay, so you're with her. Relationship breaks down and it fucked you up pretty bad.

Speaker 1: 5:07

Well, you know, I Was working a job and the guy that what I was working with, he was saying you know, I can't pay you what I'm paying, you have to pay you less. And I said Okay, you know, that's like don't. Well, it is I agree. And so the next day I told him, I said hey my relationship's breaking down, and, and that's why I seem so out of it, that's why I seem just out of it. Yeah, I'm out of it.

Speaker 1: 5:39

Yeah so I understand why I pay me less. So he told me to go to this Place, and he was the third person to tell me to go another person was my girlfriend at the time and the other person was my sister. So once he told me, I said okay, there's my third indication. Yeah, so that was around July of 2018, 2017, 2017, 27 it does it was around July 2017 and then yes, the relationship broke down. I left August 1st to go live with my dad.

Speaker 1: 6:22

Mm-hmm and then I saw in my dad all the reasons why my relationship broke down. According to my girlfriend, oh Shit.

Speaker 2: 6:36

Yeah, I know shit moment like a mirror, somebody holding a mirror to you.

Speaker 1: 6:41

I Don't know about a mirror, but it was seeing a similar, because he's not me and I'm not him, so mirror doesn't fit.

Speaker 2: 6:55

But maybe some of the same fucking broken parts same yeah, yeah I get that, I get that.

Speaker 1: 7:01

I think we all get that in some some way so, so that, and then he, I Was thinking I can't stay here much longer. You know, and now, like I said, I was working, the guy couldn't pay me, as much and I had stopped working when I moved to go live with my dad, and I was in between yeah things and still trying to do handyman work, just working independently, because who can work for a boss?

Speaker 2: 7:30

Yeah, oh yeah Sox yeah a lot of people do it.

Speaker 1: 7:37

I think they're kind of bitches if they do yeah, yeah, they could be said either way.

Speaker 2: 7:43

You know, it's a fucking weird thing. It's like a yeah it's a balance it is, it is a balance. It's a balance. It's tough, almost brave, like if you know it, if you know how fucked up it is, and you do it anyway. That's almost kind of fucking brave, maybe. Or crazy, stupid, crazy. What do they call it, phony? Tough, crazy, brave.

Speaker 1: 8:05

Something, some shit like some. I just don't like it.

Speaker 2: 8:09

So you were just doing my own, doing your own thing.

Speaker 1: 8:12

Yeah, and didn't have any encouragement from him to keep doing my own thing or anything like that. Of course, yeah, and yeah, one day. One of the reasons you know that, uh, our relationship broke, my relationship with the girlfriend broke, broke down Was just explosions of anger. Yeah, one day my dad exploded in anger and I just I couldn't do it anymore, so I just started living in the van. I was it as cargo van metal floor Metal, just pure. No windows, just a metal box.

Speaker 2: 8:51

That was 2017 and that was van life and you were doing van life before. It was cool. There's a bunch of youtubers and shit like, sell their mansion and go live in a fucking van to start a YouTube channel or a tiktok or something. But you're like, you were like pure with it, you weren't trying to start something right, there's a lot of.

Speaker 1: 9:16

I think that's kind of cool. There's a lot of people that live like that. You know that move into their vehicle out of a desperate desperation. I'm not the only one that has had to do that.

Speaker 2: 9:26

Well, yours was like your your freedom, right. That was like a step of freedom versus People who are trying to do it for views and to just, oh, we're gonna go live in a van. How cute, here's our build out. Here's what we did Like I don't know, I'm sick of those. Can we stop those?

Speaker 1: 9:48

Well, we just fucking stop. Those people already can do what you can do, instead of stopping them, as you just unsubscribe. You just don't.

Speaker 2: 9:55

I know don't look at it. Well, I Keep seeing it. That's the thing is if school bus, the schoolies it's gonna build nose out.

Speaker 1: 10:03

Well, where do you see it Like? Do you see it Like? Is there somebody like that Manufactures these places that you drive by, and you see it all the time?

Speaker 2: 10:11

No, why are you see yeah, I see it on that fucking thing. You're scrolling through my fucking stupid scroll.

Speaker 1: 10:16

I see you got a pop, so yeah, I know I'm subscribed from that scroll man.

Speaker 2: 10:21

I don't. I don't subscribe from the whole fucking thing. If I could, you can like I would throw it in the ocean. I would throw my phone with my Facebook and my tic-tac and all the other bullshit right in the fucking ocean if I could.

Speaker 1: 10:35

It's like a companion had inspired me to get on the Twitter to share the writing and I. The home page is just nothing but a scroll and it's just yeah, I can't do it.

Speaker 2: 10:48

It's manipulative too, because we keep looking for like little hits adobe but mean you know, oh, make me laugh, make me laugh, and I don't know. I don't know, it Can't do the scroll man. There's some shit I like, but does it make my life any better? Fuck?

Speaker 1: 11:06

no.

Speaker 2: 11:07

Probably, in some weird long-term way, it makes me more unhappy and just kind of fucking fries my noodle a little bit. And I mean I Probably didn't scroll like most people until five years ago, seven years ago, that's when that they figured that out. The tech companies kind of figured out that fucking scroll. The scroll was figured out. You know what I mean. No, like where they just honed it in, where you're like getting hit with shit you like and it knows you and the algorithm just feeds you. The perfect thing to just keep you doing. It.

Speaker 2: 11:43

Don't feed the system man, yeah, but I mean I guess I was lucky that, mike, I feel bad for kids Because they're helpless. My brain was at least developed. I made it, you know, past 25, when my prefrontal cortex could fucking figure out what the fuck it was doing with the world. So I was allowed to develop Whatever fucking brain. I have not much of one, but I got it. But these kids, man, oh fuck, that's just horrible. That's horrible, but anyway. So you were doing the van life thing just for freedom in a, in a way right, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 12:27

Yeah, that's Freedom, you know.

Speaker 2: 12:30

I've been doing it since six years.

Speaker 1: 12:33

Well, except for COVID COVID, I was lucky enough to be on a farm.

Speaker 2: 12:37

Vineyard actually. So you decided to do it. How? And once again, this isn't van life for a fucking YouTube channel. This is van life because one you needed to to, you wanted the freedom and you kind of unplugged. Well, I did that, I knew you kind of unplug now.

Speaker 1: 13:00

I was still scrolling. I Was scrolling for a while I I was forced off the scroll when I went to go on to marketplace, the Facebook marketplace yeah and they wanted my ID and I. There's too much work, ridiculous, I'm not, not, no, so my Facebook's locked up, which is awesome, so that's just so.

Speaker 1: 13:33

You had one and it's fucking toast it's toasted because, yeah, I went to go on marketplace, yeah, it's cool, so I'm, yeah, but now I have a Twitter but I don't go on the scroll. I did a couple times like yeah, I envy that.

Speaker 2: 13:55

I'd like to get off of it it's.

Speaker 1: 13:58

I don't know what start like a rehab clinic just for fucking the scroll.

Speaker 2: 14:01

Man like a Inpatient fucking it's tough cuz.

Speaker 1: 14:06

Sometimes I think maybe I want to just scroll through Facebook.

Speaker 2: 14:11

It's nice, it's, it's easy, it's too easy. It's too easy and it learns you and Then it feeds you exactly what you want, which is too fucking easy.

Speaker 1: 14:22

I got tired of it. It's gross.

Speaker 2: 14:24

Yeah, yeah. So you were. What were your? I mean living. I Guess you would say Well, in the van doing the van van life thing Floor.

Speaker 1: 14:38

Actually, what were?

Speaker 2: 14:39

the challenges, what, what sucked? About it at first that you didn't anticipate.

Speaker 1: 14:47

It's always challenging. Yeah, it's always challenging. Yeah it's just finding peace, you know, and chill through the challenge. And one of the interesting things that I think With how people respond about happiness, something we were stroking earlier. It's about being happy. See these rich people who are unhappy. And here's the dude who's smiling. Being a vibe and guy in his van. Yeah, doesn't have much of a dime but, chill and I don't know. There's something to that something to that.

Speaker 2: 15:25

I mean it's um and I think I mean the just to go back, not to keep beating the dead horse, but the reason people Start YouTube channels doing this, because I think there's some little dream and everyone that's plugged in with their 40 hours a week and their big-ass mortgage and All the pressures and stresses that they have going on, there's some kind of a little fantasy.

Speaker 2: 15:52

Somewhere in there that like maybe I could fucking do that. What would that be like to just be me and the fucking road and myself and Beauty, nature, seeing different things, traveling, like what would that be fucking like? Because so many of the people at least a lot of the Suburban class I guess I'm a part of and then I see a lot of is I just notice. It's kind of like you look at you starting to do that and then you look at them who's in the cage? I think in a way they're in the cage, they're trapped, you're not to an extent.

Speaker 1: 16:41

You have different challenges.

Speaker 2: 16:43

That's what I mean Different challenges, but I think that's the fantasy. So suburban people holding down jobs, families, mortgages, car payments, the whole fucking nine yards I mean that's a trap. You're stuck to that, you're chained to your debt, you're chained to what you owe, you can't stop working or all of that's gone and the banks are coming after I never stopped working, I still. You know what I mean you can't.

Speaker 1: 17:12

My band wasn't paid off, you know, when I was living in it, you know, still had to finish paying it off. I was still paying that. I still paid insurance. I still pay registration, yeah, pay for gas. So one of the things I started doing was I got a storage unit. I said, okay, I'm just going to get a storage unit. Okay, you know. And I was lucky enough to find a place that was family owned. So it was chill, it wasn't awful. Yeah, so that was. I found so much to be thankful for my first night in the van. I've smiled in such contentment, you know, and thought of all the people in the world that didn't even have a roof to sleep under even a metal floor, you know to sleep on.

Speaker 2: 17:55

Yeah, and just being thankful for something simple.

Speaker 1: 17:59

Yeah, and being thankful I wasn't going to be around my dad, who would just freak out for no reason you know and just be a negative influence on me anymore. Yeah, I was free of that. So, yeah, free of big time and keep working on being my own man.

Speaker 2: 18:18

So and that's just interesting, that first night, you know like the kind of smile.

Speaker 1: 18:24

Yeah, I was at a bar. I was at a bar that he hated, so I knew I wouldn't see him.

Speaker 2: 18:29

Okay, that's a good one.

Speaker 1: 18:33

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 18:34

It was.

Speaker 1: 18:35

I stated. I went to that bar a lot, I slept in that parking lot a lot.

Speaker 2: 18:41

That's the other thing with the van is you get a fucking find a place to put it? Was that kind of a challenge?

Speaker 1: 18:46

to figure out, always a challenge.

Speaker 2: 18:47

Still a challenge. Still a challenge. So what's? How do? What was your kind of learning process with that? What are the nuances with that? I mean, and these aren't. Once again, this is you trying to do it on a necessity, not these people with like campgrounds booked and you know to try to to glamorously do it.

Speaker 2: 19:09

Well, they like book it out and get all these places and shit, but you're just trying to survive doing it. You're just like, okay, this is a necessity and this is my freedom. What are your, what are your challenges from parking it and what's that learning process and like trying to find a place to hang out.

Speaker 1: 19:30

Yeah. So, parking is oh man, you got to just find the spot that's quiet. You know it's kind of where I blend in, right. So you want to find like vehicles? I can't. I don't want to describe what my vehicle looks like. I mean, I guess I could describe it it's a white van yeah, yeah. It looks like every other white van. Yeah, so I just find other white vanes, the part next to sometimes blend right in.

Speaker 2: 20:01

What do they call that? They call that something like covert camping or camouflage. I don't know. You know, like people have like a big, like RV. It's pretty fucking obvious. Yeah, what about like Walmart's and shit? I always say a lot of people.

Speaker 1: 20:15

I try to stay out of Walmart's. So the thing with my van it doesn't have any windows, so I need to open the door to have air.

Speaker 2: 20:23

Okay.

Speaker 1: 20:24

And that that's a vulnerable vulnerability, so I need to find something secure.

Speaker 2: 20:30

Like a little more private, yeah, private.

Speaker 1: 20:32

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 20:33

Okay.

Speaker 1: 20:35

So yeah it's. It takes a lot of effort to nail down a location where I'm not going to get bothered Okay, cause I want to keep coming back to it where I want to find a couple locations that I could jump to.

Speaker 2: 20:50

You get fucked with a lot by like at first. You probably get fucked with more like security or police or property owners.

Speaker 1: 20:57

Yeah, that first year was an adjustment. Yeah, definitely that first summer.

Speaker 2: 21:02

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 21:03

Lots of adjustment and just parking right in town, yeah, not giving a hoot. What would happen? Oh my God. The one guy who was drunk. It was like two o'clock. I parked outside of his apartment and he just I'm like, oh man, I see a guy, fuck Cause I don't want to be seen getting into it. Just, you know less as more. So anyway, he saw, he saw me getting in and he just starts banging on the truck. I'm like, oh my God, I have a policy I don't open the door at night, cause this this night was a little chillier.

Speaker 1: 21:41

I guess I was closing the door.

Speaker 2: 21:42

Oh, it's two AM.

Speaker 1: 21:43

Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2: 21:44

Cool, it's two AM.

Speaker 1: 21:48

He's drunk, banging on the door, calling me asshole, bum, whatever.

Speaker 2: 21:54

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 21:55

Yeah, and he waves down a cop and the cops try to open the door and like, whatever rain, his registration license, blah, blah, blah. It's all good. If he's in there sleeping, that's fine, you know, as long as he doesn't steal anything, you know he does give us a call, or whatever.

Speaker 2: 22:12

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 22:13

Otherwise leave him alone.

Speaker 2: 22:14

Just fucked off then.

Speaker 1: 22:15

Yeah so.

Speaker 1: 22:18

I had another guy. Uh, I was parked on the same street, just the other end of the street, same town, just on, and then the opposite end. I'm brushing my teeth the one day and this boomer comes out. He comes out and his arms are all shaking Like you all right, dude. And I'm like what are you doing here? I'm brushing my teeth, I don't want you living here and you're freaking my wife out, oh geez. Like uh, well, it's a public street, you know parking here, you know. It's like, why do you have to park here? I'm like, well, this is the closest street you know, without you know a time limit to the center of town.

Speaker 2: 23:03

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 23:04

So I don't have to like walk as far as he hang out at the Starbucks and uh, yeah, so he was telling me he's like from Northeast Philly and doesn't put up with this. I'm like listen, man, you know I can't just leave because you want me to leave. You know, because eventually, if I you know, freaking someone out is in a crime. Yeah. Yeah, oh man, and then that same summer yeah, same street. Now I'm in the middle of the street, okay, and uh, you like that street.

Speaker 1: 23:39

I like that street. Like I said, it was close to the center of town. It didn't really have any uh restrictions, yeah, parking restrictions. And uh, the one day I'm sitting down and I'm making making some dinner and a cop comes up to me and says hey, I got a call. I'm like all right, you know, it's like just wanted to come out and make sure you're all right. Yeah, I'm all right. It's like all right, cool, let me just talk when he shares his name and say okay, cool, he's like all right, I'll see you later or have a good night, or whatever.

Speaker 1: 24:11

Yeah, next day I finish cooking for everything away. Undercover car shows up to four cars show up. Fuck, they show up in four. And so this guy comes up. He's like yeah, I got a complaint. You know, I got a call, someone was cooking Outside of their van or in their van, like oh, okay. Yeah, you know cooking yeah, like pushing with the propane.

Speaker 2: 24:47

Propane stove Right on the street and it sent four cops for fucking cooking.

Speaker 1: 24:52

Yeah, big time.

Speaker 2: 24:56

No, no, I was there cooking Labor Day weekend?

Speaker 1: 24:58

Yeah, I could. I was there. So part of the reason I was there is I didn't really have too much money. I was only gonna drive to go to a job. Yeah, let's see, drive to just go somewhere, waste my gas, waste my money. Yeah, I'm gonna drive to work and I didn't have any work lined up. So wait, it's all work lined up.

Speaker 2: 25:19

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 25:20

Anyway. So they said I needed to get out of there. Like, well, I've got a Labor Day party to go to, so I'm leaving under my own volition.

Speaker 1: 25:28

There, you go and anyway you can't fire me, I quit and it was an interesting interaction because he didn't see me cooking. But he went over to some of the local ordinances, like no Going to the bathroom in public, you know. No cooking on the street or on the sidewalk, yeah, and I'm like what about public properties? Like, public property is fine if you have permission, you know from whoever's living there.

Speaker 2: 25:59

You mean private property.

Speaker 1: 26:00

Yeah. Yeah and Huh. So yeah, it was cool so then you're learning the laws a little bit here too learning the laws are incredibly important because One of the things I've developed in going through, uh, my breakdown with my girlfriend and then Going to behavioral health was, uh, relationships, yeah, you know, and one of the relationships we have, our relationships with law enforcement and the law and society in general. Yeah, and with all these relationships, it's really important to understand boundaries and expectations.

Speaker 2: 26:34

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 26:36

And uh so that's where, yeah, learning the law is incredibly important and we can get to some of that when we get. I moved down to florida. Uh, so that interaction he didn't see me, he cooking or anything. I finished putting everything away. He tells me you know, and not let it cook or anything, and I say, okay, what's your name?

Speaker 1: 27:01

He tells me his name like oh oh you related to the other guy's name will just say frank, yeah, he's like. Yeah, that's my uh Older brother. I'm like, oh yeah, for the cop that came in the other day like oh yeah, who outranks who? He's like I do, there you go. I thought that was kind of funny because the older brother saw me cooking, didn't say nothing.

Speaker 2: 27:29

Oh shit, well, so that's kind of the challenge. But it's um, and it's not just like being in the van, it's like you also could have do stuff, cook something or get out, or, when you can't just lock up in there the whole time now I'm forced to interact with the public all the time. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 27:50

I'm constantly in the public.

Speaker 2: 27:52

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 27:53

Constantly in the public eye.

Speaker 2: 27:54

Well, because that's just basically a place to sleep and chill, like everything else you got to be outside to do.

Speaker 1: 28:01

Yeah and do my laundry. So after that interaction with the police I walked to go do my laundry, talking with the one guy at the laundromat and he lives, uh down by the one corner with the guy that uh Didn't like me living there from northeast Philly. Yeah, and I asked, I told him about Just everything. I told you essentially, and he said, oh yeah, if you want to cook, you could cook right on my front step.

Speaker 2: 28:27

No, no shit, it's kind of nice, it is.

Speaker 1: 28:31

It's great same day. Then I went to the labor day party. I had a good time, got hot Italian sausage on the way up.

Speaker 2: 28:38

So you found. You found some people that fucked with you over the years, but then has there been some good. I mean, like that guy with his porch. There've been some good helpers.

Speaker 1: 28:48

More than there are haters really. Oh yeah, I mean, there's always a see a haters, but I try to, let's just see a haters. You know, it's those Helpers that are wonderful, oh my god.

Speaker 2: 29:01

What kind of, what kind of help have you gotten? Oh, what do you, I guess, in this journey, and as you're starting it, like, what do you, what are you becoming grateful for? Like, who, what?

Speaker 1: 29:12

I guess I can't specifically say who on this show, but who um?

Speaker 2: 29:19

Wow, I mean.

Speaker 1: 29:21

I mean you could just describe what they Kind of did, or how somebody helped you or it's just relationships in general, um just being present for somebody, being they're listening, having something to offer. Yeah, you know and just honestly being present and just being a good person to interact with Is the seed of everything else. You know, Any sort of thing that can manifest in a relationship starts with some acknowledgement back and forth.

Speaker 2: 29:55

I mean if people like let you park on their property, or like certain business owners or managers have been like yeah, I can, but it's cool, like you're good, like stay here. Whatever you need, I got you.

Speaker 1: 30:10

I receive so much love and support. As uh a late friend said, the world is wonderfully abundant. No, it's a good way to think of it. So there's plenty of Abundance out there, there's plenty of room. It's just uh, being open to the possibility.

Speaker 2: 30:28

You still feel that too. I mean this day and age. Yeah you feel the abundance, the positivity. You see the helpers. I mean you're more in it than a lot of people are Right, because if you're just going back and forth to your house from work, you're not running into situations where people need to be nice or you need to be nice to them. Everything you do, work and home is all transactional right.

Speaker 2: 30:55

It's. I get this because I did this. But if you're living the way you are, there's a little more Relationship to it, there's a little bit more um, where you're really interacting with people, the environment, the world, the. Yeah, really real law enforcement, security guards, managers, these people that people like in, not that you have to be nice, but you have to try To maybe understand people more than most do and form relationships and be compassionate and be understanding, to kind of get some of that back, you know, is that kind of it's accurate.

Speaker 2: 31:39

That's how I see it. Oh, that's accurate yeah and I think about my day like I don't. I don't run into a lot of those situations Like everything's transactional, I can go to my house because I paid for my house, and that's. That's different. I've never really quite thought of shit like that and that's interesting. And you're on the other. So what did? What did you kind of what does that taught you?

Speaker 1: 32:04

Well, uh, actually one thing, uh, one of the people that have uh come up to me and interacted with me, and he suggested that money is a lubricant for social interaction. Just one of the aspects of money. Okay, I thought that was really interesting because when I got down here, god delivered me an angel who connected me with some work and this angel enjoys the finer qualities of being alive and she likes to take photos and I offered her some money to take some Private photos for some male modeling. So we'll see if she says.

Speaker 2: 32:48

Yes to that.

Speaker 1: 32:48

So, you know, she can say no, but at least offer her some money rather than hoping she'll do it for free. Yeah, I know she needs the money. Well, it's nice to be able to.

Speaker 2: 33:00

Like if people can give their time abundantly, you know, and, like you said, it's a work of art, you know, and, like you said, it's a world of abundance. Well, time sometimes is the hardest thing to have an abundance of, because it's a fine idea, replaceable resource, and like it's it's nice to be able to pay people for the time, if you can, I mean, and that's that's employment. Right there, they're trading, you know, time for money, that's that's what it is. But, um, yeah, and I think it's the greatest gift you can give, really more than money, more than things, more than access. If you give someone time, that's something you'll never get back.

Speaker 1: 33:48

It's gone.

Speaker 2: 33:49

It's gone forever. You make more money. You can get more property. If you borrow shit to people, loan shit to people, you can get more. That's all replaceable. That's infinite. But yeah, time is just so fucking finite. It's almost scary when you think of it like that. Like you help your friend move, it takes you fucking six hours and you're like fuck, that's gone forever. It goes my whole day. But then just something else just struck me there Talking with you about this and your scrolling thing. We put so much value. Like if I helped a friend move for four hours, I'm like fuck, or help him do something, some kind of task. Maybe you didn't wanna do it. How much time do you waste fucking scrolling? Like, how much do we waste? We attach a price to it for work and other things and our weekends and vacations and whatever we do is so valued. But then how much do we just fucking waste? Just burn it Like we're trying to get through it instead of holding on to it like we would money.

Speaker 1: 35:04

Can't hold on to the time.

Speaker 2: 35:06

More valuable than money, do you think?

Speaker 1: 35:08

It's definitely more valuable than money, yeah.

Speaker 2: 35:11

Without time If you're out of time, money doesn't mean shit.

Speaker 1: 35:15

Right time rules money. If there's a hierarchy of things that rule things, time rules more than anything then it would be energy, which can be considered like a money, and then there's the action with that energy. And then there's love, mercy, wisdom.

Speaker 2: 35:37

It's an interesting way to think of it. So you're doing this, so you're just recently down to Florida, not too long ago, but you were doing this up in Pennsylvania for five, six years, yeah.

Speaker 1: 35:58

What is that?

Speaker 2: 35:58

2017, 18, 19, 21, 22, 23.

Speaker 1: 36:05

Yeah, six years.

Speaker 2: 36:06

Do you meet or interact with or hang out with other people that do the same thing?

Speaker 1: 36:14

Not often.

Speaker 2: 36:16

You see someone else camping doing what you're doing. Do you ever like hey?

Speaker 1: 36:24

Actually, when I got down here, I did meet someone pretty early on Having those sort of interactions. It's kind of despondent. He's still, I think, living in his trauma, figuring out his own life. He's kind of in his own thing, Everyone's in their own thing and a lot of given space just for people to be themselves. One of the things I picked up before my relationship broke down was that I'm to be an example. I picked this up after doing some yoga and I had done yoga for seven years with the intention that I'm having union with God and I had started to go to a church that practiced meditation, which practiced listening to the whisper of God.

Speaker 1: 37:22

So then I was in that, incorporating more meditation into my practice, and I finally received them to be an example, and so I'm learning that as I go along.

Speaker 2: 37:33

So like trying to, yeah, inspire, I mean that's the best way to teach, wouldn't it be?

Speaker 1: 37:40

Yeah, one of the things I could never stand in the learning process is someone who ever says, do as I say, not as I do. Then you're not leading by example from the very beginning, from your very words. And if I can't trust you on your word, then what good?

Speaker 2: 37:56

is your word. That's hard to do too. Yeah, to do as I say, not as I do.

Speaker 1: 38:00

That's a hard standard, but really it's an impossible standard because we're monkey, we monkey see monkey. Do you know not monkey hear monkey, do monkey don't hear and understand English or any language?

Speaker 2: 38:15

Well, and it's like you can tell people things all day. They can read a million books, they can hear it all. But you know, example, example. I guess that's the best way it really is. If you're trying to change someone, maybe even two, like Anything Show them a positive example and mirror that what you want to see. Mirror it to them. Yeah, you know that's a good way to fucking think of shit, I mean you have kids that's like your first man.

Speaker 2: 38:52

That's one of those things like you have a life before and after kids. Yeah, you're just like, because you're raising little mini, use little mirrors.

Speaker 1: 39:04

They pick up on the vibe, yeah.

Speaker 2: 39:07

You know something fucked up. I heard, though, and it was kind of like there's a certain age where your kids are not learning from you as much as they are from other kids Because psychologically they can't process you being the same as them. There's like the certain age range where you look like God, like you can do anything you can cook, you can reach everything, You're big, you can drive and they're mostly watching and like learning, learning a lot of their behaviors from like other kids, like school stuff, like that, because they see that, as you know, similar or maybe even like little older kids, and it was interesting watching my kids grow up doing that like where they're really emulating their peers.

Speaker 1: 39:58

Their peers.

Speaker 2: 40:00

And you see how important that is. As they grow up like that, we give them like a good pasture. You know, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 40:17

That's the whole inspiration to start living in the van was. I didn't have that example, yeah, and it led to a breakdown. I didn't want to have that repeat itself.

Speaker 2: 40:28

Well and I think, like the and I heard this from somewhere, I didn't invent the way this is said, but I've always kind of felt the concept of it especially well. Actually, only since raising kids is this guy said be shepherds, not engineers. So you're not engineering your kid, like. And we have these parental relationships where maybe they tried to engineer us like you're going to play piano, you're going to do this, you're going to be good at that, because I was good at that, and they're not you and you're not them. You're different, you have some similarities, but I think that in this world we have now, of like, either hyper success or hyper neglect, because one of the two ways it's like people try to engineer their kids a little too much in that, instead of just realizing I just need to give them a safe place to live, some good examples, and they're going to become their own people, and that's the fucking point right, that's beautiful.

Speaker 2: 41:39

That's a good way to put it the point is not to create this statue or this work of art. At the end. The point is to create a kid that can become a functioning adult, and the sooner they leave, maybe the better. You did Like if they leave at 18 and go out and okay, cool, see you at Christmas, come visit. You know, that seems to be a good thing because they're on their journey. You started that and I don't know it's a fucked up thing.

Speaker 1: 42:10

Why 18,? Why not 14?

Speaker 2: 42:13

Yeah, I mean.

Speaker 1: 42:14

I just thought I was I was kind of.

Speaker 2: 42:18

I was working doing my own thing from 14, 15. Like, my mom barely saw me. I was just, you know, sleeping there, and I mean they were. I had a nice house to go home to and all that kind of stuff. There was no problem there. But I was wanting to get my life started. That's beautiful and I was fortunate I didn't have to go back, but that was. I think we we may be misjudged or don't understand what raising kids is. You know you're not supposed to make them straight A students and professional athletes and you don't make them anything. They make themselves what they do. And you know all the training and sports and all the studying and grade pressure you put on them. You know there's a we want you to achieve, but you're not going to engineer them into something they're not. Yeah, so that's anyway. It's my tie rate about that. Thank you for coming to my tent talk. Yeah, but how did you, how did you decide to come down to Florida?

Speaker 1: 43:30

It's a really simple decision. I was tired of another winner in the cold and I picked. One of the things we were talking about earlier was a plan versus just going with it, and I was one to just kind of go with it. But my brother suggested to at least have a sum plan. You know, pick a spot. So I started doing some research and looked at different towns in Florida. I saw that Tampa had a really unique climate in that part of it is subtropical and the other part of it is like this Southern climate.

Speaker 2: 44:11

And there's like a line yeah. And it's like it cuts an angle from Tampa Bay to Orlando, basically of like climate zones.

Speaker 1: 44:19

Weird.

Speaker 2: 44:20

You can see the temperature maps.

Speaker 1: 44:22

So I saw that and I said, okay, well, I got to stay below that line, because otherwise, if I'm up above that line, it's going to be cold and there's no point in driving all this way if it's cold.

Speaker 2: 44:33

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 44:35

So I drove down and then I looked at the Sarasota area because it was a little not as developed, at least from what I could tell, and then I saw other things that are even less developed further south, and it just kept going south.

Speaker 2: 44:52

Yeah, it's beautiful. I mean the ocean's beautiful, the beaches are beautiful.

Speaker 1: 44:57

Oh yeah.

Speaker 2: 44:58

It's fucking great. It's better than Pennsylvania Weather wise anyway.

Speaker 1: 45:03

This time of year at least, yeah. I hear it gets nasty in the summertime.

Speaker 2: 45:09

Yeah, I mean.

Speaker 1: 45:12

Well, that's the inspiration to keep working, to get a job, lifeguarding and hang out on the beach? Because I asked him is it going to be hot in the summer and like now, we got a nice ocean breeze Like all right.

Speaker 2: 45:26

If you're on the water in the summer, it's not bad.

Speaker 1: 45:28

I'm going to be all right if I get that job. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 45:31

I definitely agree with that. It's not. If you get a little breeze and you're on the water, it's nice, it's comfortable and you got something to keep you out the sun. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 45:42

I'm looking forward to it.

Speaker 2: 45:43

We get that rain every day, though, too.

Speaker 1: 45:45

I heard I heard a lot about this Florida weather in the spring. I heard it was real intense. I hear it comes down real hard like that's what I hear. I don't know, I haven't experienced it.

Speaker 2: 45:56

I heard someone explain it really well. It's not like we have winter, fall, spring and summer Traditionally and this year was fucking weird but there's like a wet season and a dry season when you get below a certain point in Florida, because the temperature doesn't vary that much, because at the hottest it's getting up into the low nineties or something like that most of the time, which isn't you know, that's not Phoenix hot, and then typically our highs in the winter could be around 70 or 75. So it's like, okay, so the temperature doesn't vary. So what's the big difference? Typically it doesn't rain all winter, it's dry, and by March there have been forest fires and shit March, april, and then the rain start coming in.

Speaker 2: 46:47

But it's not like what we're used to up in, you know, the Midwest or the other part of the country, where the front spring, the storms in the rain, right, all those fronts, it's more like the air just gets fucking saturated with humidity. You know it's so humid and then it just pops. So it's like more tropical. So you get rainy season, like rains every day for like 20 minutes. It's cool though, but kind of annoying. But you can count on it.

Speaker 2: 47:21

Count on it yeah, cool shit off.

Speaker 1: 47:24

I bet.

Speaker 2: 47:25

Which leaves you with like a nice late afternoon and evening.

Speaker 1: 47:28

That does sound nice, maybe I will stick around for the summer? Yeah, at least the early part.

Speaker 2: 47:34

So did you ever have like you've done this for a long time have you ever had safety issues where, like, people steal shit or fucking threatening you?

Speaker 1: 47:45

Yeah, I said the guy lying on the door.

Speaker 2: 47:48

Nobody ever tried to like fucking break in, rob you.

Speaker 1: 47:50

I don't know. I haven't seen any indication of that. That's good.

Speaker 2: 47:55

So you felt pretty safe.

Speaker 1: 47:58

I mean as safe as I can be. I mean there's always a level of vulnerability.

Speaker 2: 48:03

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 48:04

It's like my life is that way. Yeah, jesus Christ, I'm driving on the road and anything happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, like every moment, you know it's an opportunity for catastrophe.

Speaker 2: 48:16

Yeah, I'm living on the edge man. So if you could go back to maybe 28 years old, I guess the kind of question is, I mean, would you do it again? What would you do different? What would you tell yourself? Is there a lesson and a moral that you've kind of found on this journey?

Speaker 1: 48:44

No, I don't like those sort of questions because there's no point in ever thinking about them, because that was that time of my life, you know, and I made whatever decision I made and it led to wonderful opportunities to live in love, and I am so thankful for all the opportunities I've had since and I just wouldn't change a thing. Living without regret is really important. I think having any amount of regret is just a lack of acceptance and that's not okay. You know, if you can't accept reality, you're never going to be happy.

Speaker 2: 49:27

What's the best thing you learned?

Speaker 1: 49:29

Just keep being in breathing love. Yeah, yeah, keep being in breathing love, keep being an example.

Speaker 2: 49:38

I read one of your one of your posts and one of the ones I liked the most, because you have the. You have a blog that you write on Was the the one about surviving? Ain't no same in the game. Ain't no shame in the game. Ain't no shame in the game. We got no shame in the game. I thought that was just a cool like little lesson, and you you summarized it really nice. But is that something you kind of learned over the last six, seven years?

Speaker 1: 50:06

Yeah, it's one of the things I picked up at the emotional mental health facility Something we talked about. You know some just being in group. One important one of the things I like to say is I take group with me wherever I go. One of the things that, for people who do participate in group, they really enjoy it because it's an opportunity to be acknowledged, to have that interaction in a positive, healthy, expansive way, not some sort of negative, unhealthy, contractive way, and they want more of it. Most people want more of that and the only thing that makes group group is what you bring to group, so you could take group with you wherever you go. We're in a group session right now. Yeah, talking about things. Yeah, just sharing shit with people sharing shit with people being acknowledged.

Speaker 2: 50:57

Acknowledgement. That's really important. That is huge.

Speaker 1: 51:02

It's the first step If you're in recovery of anything.

Speaker 2: 51:05

Yeah, it's like proof that you exist almost at some kind of fucking base level.

Speaker 1: 51:10

First thing I know is I don't know anything. Yeah, that's a good way to put it Well, cool.

Speaker 2: 51:17

Thank you for coming on sharing the story. It's really great talking with you.

Speaker 1: 51:22

Thank you, thank you, thank you for having me on here and thank you for having the need for content.

Speaker 2: 51:28

Yeah, yeah, hey, we're trying to do a good thing.

Speaker 1: 51:31

I'm looking forward to giving this a listen here and what other people had to share.

Speaker 2: 51:35

Yeah it's going to be real cool to check it out Well, thanks, and to the listeners out there, thank you for tuning in till next time. Stay out of trouble. We'll see you in church, thanks.