Send a text directly to us and let us know your thoughts!
Remember the soothing power of a warm hug? Our latest guest does, and they've turned that comforting embrace into a professional calling. As a cuddle buddy, this anonymous companion offers a unique, platonic form of solace that tugs at the heartstrings, tapping into the profound human need for touch. Together, we unwrap the layers of this fascinating role, exploring the emotional sustenance it provides in a society where the simple act of holding hands can be as elusive as affection itself.
From the stringent traditions of a Jehovah's Witness upbringing, we consider the impact of rigid religious practices on individual growth and ponder over the ties that bind us to our past, and our conversation meanders through the complexities of personal history and the universal quest for human connection.
Join us as we probe the changing tides of relationships, where young men navigate the choppy waters of modern dating and emotional vulnerability. Our exchange sheds light on the pressures to conform to societal norms and the solace found in the arms of professionals who offer a respite from the loneliness that often lurks in the shadows of a swipe-right culture. In this heart-to-heart, we not only share but seek to understand the different forms of companionship that color our world with much-needed strokes of empathy and understanding.
Thank you for listening! We thrive on your support. Please subscribe to our podcast, leave a review, and share our episodes. Your engagement helps us continue to produce high-quality, thought-provoking content. Join The Redacted Podcast army and be part of a community that values truth and justice.
If you have a story that needs to be heard, contact us at Team@TheRedactedPodcast.com. Follow our journey on TikTok, X, Instagram, YouTube and Facebook for more updates and exclusive content. Together, we can make a difference.
Send a text directly to us and let us know your thoughts!
Remember the soothing power of a warm hug? Our latest guest does, and they've turned that comforting embrace into a professional calling. As a cuddle buddy, this anonymous companion offers a unique, platonic form of solace that tugs at the heartstrings, tapping into the profound human need for touch. Together, we unwrap the layers of this fascinating role, exploring the emotional sustenance it provides in a society where the simple act of holding hands can be as elusive as affection itself.
From the stringent traditions of a Jehovah's Witness upbringing, we consider the impact of rigid religious practices on individual growth and ponder over the ties that bind us to our past, and our conversation meanders through the complexities of personal history and the universal quest for human connection.
Join us as we probe the changing tides of relationships, where young men navigate the choppy waters of modern dating and emotional vulnerability. Our exchange sheds light on the pressures to conform to societal norms and the solace found in the arms of professionals who offer a respite from the loneliness that often lurks in the shadows of a swipe-right culture. In this heart-to-heart, we not only share but seek to understand the different forms of companionship that color our world with much-needed strokes of empathy and understanding.
Thank you for listening! We thrive on your support. Please subscribe to our podcast, leave a review, and share our episodes. Your engagement helps us continue to produce high-quality, thought-provoking content. Join The Redacted Podcast army and be part of a community that values truth and justice.
If you have a story that needs to be heard, contact us at Team@TheRedactedPodcast.com. Follow our journey on TikTok, X, Instagram, YouTube and Facebook for more updates and exclusive content. Together, we can make a difference.
I Carpenter Des.
Speaker 2:You just had to draw a wiener. Wherever you go, yeah, we're all fucked up. I'm never going to get the shower, just going to sit here and dick around all day.
Speaker 1:This episode is only bloopers.
Speaker 2:It's just bloopers. All right, fuck it. No more games. Okay, thank you for tuning in to the redacted podcast. We have our guest here today who's come on under the guise of being anonymous, so thank you for coming on.
Speaker 1:Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:And then we have Pamela back there. She's running the sound board, the video board. She's been sworn to secrecy so she's not going to reveal your identity to anyone. So you're completely safe to tell us your whole truth and nothing but the truth. So the so kind of what you messaged about and we talked about it a little bit before is that you, at a time where you were a professional cuddle buddy, Is that is that the right thing?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the correct term A cuddle buddy, someone to platonically snuggle with, snuggle friend.
Speaker 2:A snuggle friend. It sounds so adorable.
Speaker 1:It's pretty fun. No prostitution You're not linking with people so that you can have any kind of sexual activity. It's purely platonic and pays very well, surprisingly.
Speaker 2:Okay, so it's interesting you got into that. And then you mentioned something right before we started here, that you grew up as a Jehovah's Witness and you said there's kind of a pipeline from.
Speaker 1:I'd have to stand on that. I fully believe Okay.
Speaker 2:Explain that. Start that or maybe where did that go? How does that work?
Speaker 1:I want to say my family's been witnesses since I was in elementary school and it was kind of intense church on not church they don't like that phrase. The meetings on Sunday, meetings on Saturday meetings, tuesday nights go out on service, walk on doors Saturdays. You got to keep up with the magazine they publish every week. Do your lessons, attempt extra Bible studies. It's all very rigid and scheduled. It was a lot for me growing up because I wanted to do fun stuff, but um, so you grew up at that most of your the time you lived with your parents, yeah, like through grade school, junior high, high school.
Speaker 1:Yep Only.
Speaker 2:So they converted at some point. They just decided in the middle of you know, they're 30 years old and they're like hmm.
Speaker 1:I remember.
Speaker 2:I really don't get enough church. I'd really like to go 12 times a week.
Speaker 1:My parents, from the earliest that I can remember, were always on the hunt for like a religious kind of group that they felt in line with. I remember popping from church to church on like a monthly basis. We would try out a new church.
Speaker 2:So they were like shopping, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I don't know what it was about Jehovah Witnesses that drew them, but we stuck with that for a really long time and, granted individually witnesses are some of the kindest, most generous people that I've ever seen, ever met.
Speaker 2:But I've experienced that I understand that Yep.
Speaker 1:But as an organization it's so kind of cold you know there's. You have to do things very by the book and if you mess up you're expected to like repent and like so totally humble and debase yourself, like I had a friend who was also a witness the only other witness I knew in middle school and to this day I don't know exactly what she did but we had to um, it's called the phrase. The phrase is like eluding me right now, but when you do something wrong you're supposed to like still come to the services, still come to the meetings, but nobody's allowed to interact with you until the elders decide that, like, you've repented enough and like shunned.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we shun you for like an extended period of time, even outside of like service. You're supposed to not interact with them, and it was really a disillusionment for me personally, but I was never super totally in the fold growing up. It was kind of hard for me because I was always kind of curious about things that they weren't allowing, you know.
Speaker 2:Like movies TV holidays.
Speaker 1:We didn't celebrate any holidays except for Thanksgiving and still to this day, it's a fact that's a weird one, just to throw in there. My dad really likes Thanksgiving, but we don't do birthdays. My parents do like really low key anniversaries no Christmas, no Halloween, no Easter.
Speaker 2:The Thanksgiving at them. That just blows my mind a little, because it's.
Speaker 1:Thanksgiving. He's just like oh, no, a religious kind of origin, whereas Christmas is quote unquote the birth of Christ, even though I feel like that's been disproved on multiple venues.
Speaker 2:Say it was like the winter solstice that the Romans used to celebrate.
Speaker 1:Exactly, the winter is because of his resurrection, but the traditions of the holiday are very pagan and that's why a lot of witnesses don't do holidays like that.
Speaker 2:Well, Easter's weird. We celebrate it super weird. It's like a bunny lays eggs and we colored them for Jesus.
Speaker 1:The bunny is because of the pagan God, like a fertility and all that kind of jazz. So witnesses are very anti-religions that utilize pagan traditions to bring people into Christianity.
Speaker 2:I could do away with the Easter stuff too. I agree, I mean the whole Easter thing's a little creepy the bunny and the pastels I fully agree I like the Cadbury cremage, I can't go without those. Those hit. They're small now.
Speaker 1:Nothing's as good as it used to be.
Speaker 2:The eggs used to be like a full-size egg.
Speaker 1:Snickers used to be bigger. Reese's Cubs used to be bigger. Everything used to be better.
Speaker 2:Or maybe we were smaller.
Speaker 1:You know, that's something I never considered.
Speaker 2:That's where they get you. They just shrink it as you grow up, and then they're like they're not getting smaller, you're just getting bigger. Gaslighting, they're gaslighting the Cadbury bunny.
Speaker 1:That is hilarious, but I'd say the witnesses are very strict when it comes to like sexual topics. They're as are most religious Organized religions, for sure.
Speaker 2:Which is strange because it's like I mean.
Speaker 1:I don't, why do you pick that? Sex work is one of the earliest legitimate professions and they were doing it in Christ time. They were doing it before Christ. Oh, yeah, oh yeah, god has always shown mercy to sex workers, so no-transcript. I don't understand where this hatred comes to play, you know.
Speaker 2:I think there's a lot that goes to it, especially in Western culture, Like, if we're talking about America even specifically, is we have this very Quaker beginning which was, I mean, that kind of stuff led into the Victorian era, where it was like women shall not show their ankles, and it's strange. It's this strange prudishness that we have. And I mean, you know, sex work as it is, it's something that you know can be used well and can be legitimate. And you know, as time kind of goes on, I think America's shifting in the direction of more like, okay, this is going to happen, whether you like it or not, and it's. Are you going to shun this and pretend it doesn't happen, or are you going to understand this and try to, you know, educate people and make safe spaces and, you know, create some kind of a standard or just, you know, not ostracize it and then go like this, Like it's not happening.
Speaker 2:It's not happening and it is strange and it's really relegated to the Western world and I would say, even you know America, canada, like that Quaker thing. It just deeply rooted into anything and that was a religious thing, but it's, I don't know. It's strange. People seem to put sex, anything sexual, up on some pedestal. Like okay, I can get drunk all the time and talk about that. But you know, let's not talk about boobs.
Speaker 1:When you portray things to be like a boogie man, it's a boogie man, exactly.
Speaker 2:We've created a boogie man about nudity and sex, and it's like there's all these other things that we have that are so much more harmful.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And habits and you know behaviors and desires and wants. I mean, there's greed, but we, what do we do with greed? We put that oh, that's a good thing Like this guy makes a lot of money, and good for him. Exactly you know, but that's greedy, that's an addiction, that's a behavior that people have, that's, you know, kind of fucked. You shouldn't be greedy, you know? Jesus said don't be greedy.
Speaker 1:For sure, Like who is to draw the line on what's acceptable when it comes to these quote unquote Cardinal sins. Like we live in a capitalist society because people decided that there's a good type of greed, but sex work is banned and negatively polarized, because people think that there's only bad applications to the sin of lust.
Speaker 2:You know, Well, and that's like the number one one, but then that's what we think. But then you look like you know. You look at the Bible and there's, there's, I don't know what I can't quote. But it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into heaven.
Speaker 1:Right, yes.
Speaker 2:Like. It's impossible Like.
Speaker 1:Truly.
Speaker 2:But for some reason we don't put that anywhere near what we put sex and nudity. It's this whole taboo thing. But anyway, you grew up with that, and do you? Do you think that, ultimately, that pipeline is derived?
Speaker 1:like you said, the pipeline is derived from, maybe, this repressive I'd fully agree the to normalize subjects is to make it more approachable approachable for people when you're telling children from their formative years that this, this is bad, don't look at it, don't touch it, don't think about it, don't. It needs to be put out of your mental. They're only going to be more curious, and when they finally have the freedom to pursue things on their own, they're going to disproportionately want to pursue those things that they were not given access to.
Speaker 2:And they're not going to be educated.
Speaker 1:They're not going to be educated, they're not going to be like like you, can I think we as people when we're grown up from kids we get tapered into life.
Speaker 2:Exactly, yeah, like it's a slow transition, like you don't learn all your grown up shit at once. Exactly you magically hit 18 and then.
Speaker 1:You know it. Yeah, it's a process where you're gradually learning about the world around you and everything in it, and you need to be able to learn and experience these things when you have a buffer, when you have somebody who's not going to let you crash out.
Speaker 2:That's a good way to put that. That's a really good way to put that because if you're a kid and you're gradually learning about the world, you still have your parents and siblings and family around you a lot to kind of explain and to make sure, like, hey, you know okay, well, that's not a good thing. Let me tell you why.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's, that's really interesting.
Speaker 1:It's really important. I grew up not having to close my eyes and cover my ears when an even slightly nude scene came on, like the movies or television. I wasn't allowed to watch Harry Potter because of witchcraft. I wasn't allowed to like date any boys until I literally left the house after I graduated high school, Like eight to nine. And when you make rules like that, it makes it so your children and your family people that you care about can approach you about things that are even like lighter, in fear of being judged negatively for it. Like when I was in school I wasn't allowed to take the sex portion of my health science curriculum. My mom my mom made me read anatomy and physiology for dummies and then tested me on it so like I wouldn't be around any of the other kids when it was happening.
Speaker 2:So you didn't get to share that experience, that awkward experience, exactly. Yeah, that was awkward. It was awkward, but maybe it's necessary.
Speaker 1:It's a necessary evil that people have to go through to socialize themselves. You can know objectively all of these things, but if you don't understand the social cues and rules that go with it, you're going to lose.
Speaker 2:That's a poignant thought is like not and I guess I've never thought about it because I did it like going through health class in high school and that sex ed portion as a group with your peers, all like snickering and giggling. And then you're 50 something year old gym teachers up there, like all right now, if your wife has a couple glasses of one, you may feel an erection.
Speaker 2:You know, just telling these weird stories and and you know they're, it's just strange and that that is kind of a thing to be endured by it and you yeah, but then you got anatomy for dummies, which is a. I guess it's a way to learn something. But then learn something.
Speaker 1:Like I know all the parts, but like there's so much more that you should know when it comes to your first experiences.
Speaker 2:Like well, dating is like a taper thing. Like you start out with your little junior high holding hands and you kind of go through this taper.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:And then you go a little more serious, a little more you go, you go around the bases a little bit more, so to speak, and if you do it slowly, under guidance, where you're not like, okay, I'm an adult and I don't know anything, You're better able to understand your own boundaries and your own limitations and your desires from an earlier age, like when you're given the opportunity to date in high school.
Speaker 1:they're like baby dates. No one's taking you to Cabo, no one's expecting you to like give it up because, like they did, abc and D.
Speaker 2:They're easy they're going to the movie theater and holding hands.
Speaker 1:They're dropping you off home at 11. Your mom and your dad can talk about a. Don't let them pressure you. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.
Speaker 2:Use protection, blah blah, blah, blah blah, or don't do it, or whatever.
Speaker 1:Exactly, yeah, they can Wow. But when you're left to experience these things on your own for the first time at like 19, 2021, you run into people who are so much more manipulative, they have so much more experience and you're starting behind the curve.
Speaker 2:So did you see a lot of I don't know fellow, so you must have seen a lot of your people you grew up with, or fellow Jehovah's Witnesses go into sex work.
Speaker 1:I've met so many Catholics and Witnesses in the club that I've ever met outside of the club. Like it's wild.
Speaker 2:It's like the Catholic schoolgirl thing. Exactly Like yeah, I get that. I get that and it's like I think sometimes parents think they're making a good decision and you're just delaying the inevitable, and that is tough. That's something to think about. That's funny.
Speaker 1:I mean, we don't.
Speaker 2:I don't do Catholic school.
Speaker 1:Not that I have anything against it.
Speaker 2:But we're like, you know, any kind of a separation or kind of being super restrictive or super hovering and having these kinds of kids that are very sheltered. But yeah, that's that's interesting that you've experienced that first town. So how did you kind of start doing the cuddle thing? The cuddle buddy, the cuddle thing, the cuddle, that's a weird word, cuddle, I'd say it too much.
Speaker 1:No, I get that I'd start to lose meeting the more you say them. Um, covid hit and nobody was doing anything and I was looking into selling socks and selling panties and all that kind of stuff and again W've got ailliard and a tattooとか I.
Speaker 2:People buy socks. Let me pause you there, oh.
Speaker 1:Man, I think the average rate for a pair of socks is 35 plus like 15 extra dollars per day of wear. Yeah, I did not know that.
Speaker 2:You just educated. I feel sheltered there. I heard about that. The panty, the underwear thing they're never heard about, socks.
Speaker 1:There are whole sub societies dedicated to that kind of stuff fetish stuff and it's been going on so long that people have like specific, like ways to do things. Yeah man.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you looked at socks.
Speaker 1:I was looking at that tried to get your foot in the door and At one point when I was younger I was a sugar baby and I heard all about sugar babies and stuff it was getting really popular to talk about on tig talk during COVID and quarantine. Everybody was looking for a quick little side hustle Okay, but Everybody knows in the back of their head that you can't really be a sugar baby without giving up the sugar obviously without having sex yeah, and I was Desperately looking for something where I was not gonna feel obligated to have sex with people and I ran across cuddle buddies.
Speaker 1:I know it's kind of goofy, but I signed up and they kind of like put you to work pretty quickly. Like there are a lot more people on the site then you would think, and I was just based in like Kind of a smaller town in like North Central Florida and I was getting people booking me, but I mean is that the name of the site?
Speaker 2:cuddle buddies. Yeah, yeah, it is so you, just like you, you go on there, you create a profile. Mm-hmm and set some prices, some yep, you said your rates.
Speaker 1:I put it at 75 an hour and people will reach out to you. Hey, I'd like to book you for this date. Do you prefer booking a hotel? Do you prefer coming to me? Do you prefer me going to you, you like?
Speaker 2:set all the basics and it's very it's very easy get a hotel to Connell.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's people who have roommates, people have kids, people who are married. There there are so many people who are in relationships with One dead bedrooms. Everybody's heard of that. I think that's every. Married couples fear being in a sexless marriage. But Even to a greater degree, there are people in relationships who Aren't given affection, people who have just become Apathetic towards each other, and it's sad, like they're used to the routine. They're used to their partner. They love their partner, but no longer in love with their partner, I suppose. And so it's more than I'm just I'm not having sex with my wife anymore. It's my wife Doesn't comfort me. I.
Speaker 2:Don't feel like people need that exactly that physical touch yeah.
Speaker 1:Exactly. I think that men disproportionately go through a lot of a lot more emotional abuse than people like to think about, and I think that's why they're, like, the biggest consumers of cuddle buddies, escort sites, abc and D, you know it's kind of like that, like suck it up thing, is that?
Speaker 2:is that what you mean? Exactly you know you're not supposed to need Touch eggs you're supposed to just work and be a badass and suck it up and men in our society.
Speaker 1:You just want sex.
Speaker 2:That's. That's the thing I do notice is, a lot of times men will be reduced to just wanting sex. Realize it. It's not necessarily about the actual act of the sex, it's about the feeling, the emotion behind it, the a lot of times it's feeling needed. Feeling needed feeling important feeling Wanted, desired, you know. So that's that. That is something funny and you notice that firsthand with your. I'm sure you talk to these guys and you, you learn to understand it's like the void.
Speaker 1:It's almost like I'm gonna say like today, therapies more accepted, but it's almost like a little back in the day, even people Were so scared of the stigma of therapy that they would look for any other avenue to like have be I Don't even know how to say it but like For an outlet you know that wasn't therapy.
Speaker 2:Like you go to therapy, people go to your broken, cuz you're broken to the girls instead of booking a therapist.
Speaker 1:You know anything to put a band-aid on it?
Speaker 2:I interviewed a stripper and Heard the same time, and it is like it is. It is strange and that does make a very good point and just how much you know we really do get reduced to just well, you just want sex me, and yeah, so that's. But your specific thing you were doing was, you know, geared towards what they need and I think you know, maybe something more acceptable than therapy to them, because they're like, why just I just need some touch, like they can kind of admit that maybe that that's what they wanted. And so when you would book these, you know, go to the jobs or the appointments or whatever they legit wanted company most of the time, I imagine, or touch.
Speaker 1:I even had a few people who booked me who had good relationships with their significant other but, like truckers, they didn't get to see the significant other for three plus months at a time. So when they landed in a different state they would look up cuddle buddies in the area and just take a few hours off the road and be in a nice homey setting and have someone to rub your head and watch little Netflix with and Listen to you talk about your day. People need an outlet and Sometimes they get to a desperate point, you know yeah, you know that's um, but very understandable.
Speaker 2:I mean, I could see that and I think that that sheds in and very kind of important or overlooked light onto that. But what was did you get like? Did you get people with some really weird?
Speaker 1:requests.
Speaker 2:And like they, just like you, walk in and you're like oh, I wasn't quite expecting that. Like because, it's company in general. Right, it's not like you just come in and spoon right away and start your watch.
Speaker 1:Here's your coming in, you're talking with them, you chat for a little bit like you take it at your individual pace for sure, but people will definitely give you their preferences beforehand. People who utilize cuddle buddies definitely know what they're in for and definitely know what they want, and I've had a few weirdos, for sure.
Speaker 2:What's a weird one you got.
Speaker 1:Not that they were weird individually but the experiences were kind of unique. I had somebody who booked me kind of repetitively and maybe the third time when he was more comfortable, he was like you know, I'm gonna go get you some food before you come over. This, this and that, what do you want? And I'm like you know, I'm not very picky, I'll just snack on whatever you have at the house. And he was like I don't really eat too much, I'm super picky, so why don't you just send me a list and I'll get you some food? And he got me my list of food, whatever. We spent some time snuggling and I was like I was looking around, I just-.
Speaker 1:Just sitting on the couch snuggling yeah, I was looking around the couch snuggling and we talked about all kinds of things. It was a very fun. He's a very chill kind of guy but a very anxious kind of guy yeah maybe a little high strung.
Speaker 1:A little high strung. I've definitely found that a lot of people who do these things are kind of neurodivergent as well, people who don't necessarily. It's not that they don't fit into society, but even if they fit in, they struggled to genuinely connect with other people because of mental, emotional, physical things holding them back, and so it's easier for them to connect with someone who is there to connect with them.
Speaker 2:Well, and to an extent like yeah, you're getting paid.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like, okay, they're thinking maybe if they're a little socially awkward, or have a hard time communicating their needs. It's like well, I'm paying you Exactly, yeah, you have to.
Speaker 1:It lessens the burden because anybody else can just reject them. They can say something wrong and be rejected For something like this. It lessens the burden for them because the people that they've booked are here to give them a chance. This is they're here to talk, they're here to listen. You can't really do anything wrong unless you cross one of the boundaries that they've given you. It takes the guesswork out of the interaction.
Speaker 2:I never thought of it that way, but I guess that would make a lot of sense. That's a very deep perspective on that of like it makes total sense. It's like, yeah, well, here's, it's almost, yeah, that social awkward, just not maybe if it's somebody that doesn't get social cues and is more introverted. And well, here's the list, here's the things, here's the cost, and it's just like a menu.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:It's like okay, I know I can get this for this and we don't have to worry or stress about it.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:Huh. That is so fully the case, and oh, so that guy with the you're snuggling on the couch. We kind of you kept saying you were looking around or something.
Speaker 1:What is she gonna?
Speaker 1:say and he really, outside of the snacks he got me, he did not have anything in his kitchen aside for things to make sandwiches. And I was like you know why don't you eat with me? Like, do you want some of this pizza you got for me? Do you want some of these chips? Like what's happening? And he's like no, I don't usually eat in front of people, I don't usually eat out, I only like very specific things and I'm like, okay, well, eat with me. And he's like a lot of people think is weird. And I'm like you're not forcing me to eat like a pig tongue, so I can't think it's that weird.
Speaker 2:He's just gonna eat with you. You're gonna eat your food. He's gonna eat his weird thing.
Speaker 1:No judgment for me.
Speaker 2:What is it?
Speaker 1:He went to the kitchen and he made it was like a jelly mayonnaise sandwich and a glass of milk, and he sat down and he just started dipping it in his milk and chowing down and I just had to be quiet for a second because he's like you're gonna judge me and I was like no, I'm not gonna judge you, but I felt like I wanted to judge him a little bit.
Speaker 2:Are you like sitting there, like, like I can't stop looking at it, like? This is so weird, but you're trying not to react.
Speaker 1:You're eating.
Speaker 2:You're trying to be like, so he just lives on like jelly mayonnaise and I'm like and dipping it in milk.
Speaker 1:I don't really eat out too much. You know I'll take my friends out to eat, but I really only stick to a drink and a salad.
Speaker 2:I'm like huh, or maybe a jelly sandwich with mayonnaise.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if they had a jelly sandwich on the menu, he'd be chilling.
Speaker 2:Oh man.
Speaker 1:They're very funny, but he was a delight, always very respectful, very cool guy, but I understand, so he would just have you over and just chill on the couch. Chill.
Speaker 2:Have a little eat some jelly sandos.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Would you watch?
Speaker 1:He put me on to always sunny in Philadelphia.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is, that's one of my favorites and that's a specific show.
Speaker 2:Very specific I think you have to like. I tried to get my wife to watch it with me and she like kind of likes it, but I don't think she does.
Speaker 1:It's so jarring, it's such a jarring.
Speaker 2:Well, it's a weird humor Style. The humor is weird and it was ahead of its time when it came. Now you got me on this whole thing.
Speaker 1:They would never make it work if they tried to drop it in 2023.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, no, no no, that would be fucking canceled. The humor hit it just the right time, but it's like. It's almost like a jelly and mayonnaise sandwich. I can definitely see that big of shit. That is the TV show. That is a jelly and mayonnaise sandwich. It's like you want to watch something with me. It's very specific. Most people don't like it and you're going to think I'm weird.
Speaker 1:It's sunny in.
Speaker 2:Philadelphia.
Speaker 1:The blonde lady I can definitely see her going on a date with somebody.
Speaker 2:Oh Dee.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dee, and then coming back and being like guys. You know what this guy did? It is.
Speaker 2:The jelly and mayonnaise.
Speaker 1:Exactly, I could see it being a whole scene. Oh yeah, but it's little quirks like that that have been obsessed with them.
Speaker 2:I might pay someone to watch that show with me. Nobody wants to watch it with me.
Speaker 1:It's super funny. I have one friend.
Speaker 2:He lives in Tennessee and another one in Illinois. They're the only ones that would really watch that with me. So yeah, you got to find some people out here.
Speaker 1:What's that website again?
Speaker 2:Cuddle, cuddle buddies.
Speaker 1:Cuddle buddies. If you're willing to shout out 50 plus an hour, go for it.
Speaker 2:So that was one kind of that's an interesting one. Was there other like just kind of unique? Like what wouldn't you like you expect people to just want to sit and talk Like that's? We assume that. That's probably a lot of people just want to sit, talk, touch.
Speaker 1:Exactly. That's a really unique one, though. I had somebody. I had a booking that really could have gone to the left but kind, of course, corrected in of itself. I booked this older guy, Middle Eastern, and he booked a hotel room and he was very cool, he was very polite and it was like a three hour booking and so we chatted, we got comfortable, we snuggled, we watched a movie, we ate some I don't even know some chocolate covered chips or something, something fun. And then he started getting kind of pushy to like have sex and I was like you know, this doesn't comply with the rules and conditions of the site and he was just kind of being pushy for a while and I like finally had to put my foot down, like I'm going to have to leave early if you're going to keep pressing me, and there's always a risk for that on a site like this. People who want to press the boundaries, people who actually do do full service kind of sex work, are always kind of on these sites on the low as well.
Speaker 1:But I sent my foot down and he was like so immediately apologetic, he was like on the verge of tears and he was telling me that, like his wife died recently, his kids are about to graduate high school and one is like almost a senior in college. So he didn't want to do this at the house since they still lived at home and he had just been so like apathetic and sad, just like going through the motion since his wife died and hadn't really he's now. He was never really affectionate with his kids like he was with his wife and all that kind of jazz and he was taking it out on the wrong person being mean. And so I gave him another chance and he really just like cried on my shoulder for on and off, for like the rest of the booking.
Speaker 1:But it stems from what I was saying, that like men aren't allowed to be emotional and be soft. Men from childhood are not raised with the same sense of community that girls are. When a girl has a problem, she already has like three plus girlfriends, literally people in her corner to like vent to, to talk to, to, like you know, plot and figure out things with when you're in a situation and you only have your own perspective to go on. It can be kind of constricting. You don't know what to do and men aren't given that opportunity for community. Guys don't delve into deeper emotional issues with each other, and so when men get a significant other, that's their soul, like person, that's their soul connection, emotional connection. Some guys aren't even like soft or like not soft, but vulnerable with their children. It always falls to the wife, you know. And so when people, when men lose that connection.
Speaker 2:There's like that two sides of parenting kind of that you need.
Speaker 1:In a way.
Speaker 2:You need to harden us off. Like you know, I saw a little kid like crap themselves at a target once yeah. Like a like a three year old or a four year old, like they were wearing pants. Maybe they're out of diapers, and they just like crap themselves in the store. Sometimes they have a hard day and you see mom and dad there and dad's kind of like what are you doing? You got to do better than that. And then mom's like the hair stroking it's okay.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:There's those kind of two dynamics you need. You need a little hair stroking and you need a little like stop crapping your pants.
Speaker 1:I get it, but when men are put in a situation where it's just them, they, a lot of people, don't have the ability to provide both ends of the spectrum. They don't. Which is why I mean, like a two-pan household is the best Someone to provide the soft and someone to provide the firm. But a woman, as a single mother, can provide the firm and can provide the soft. But I find that it's harder for men to like give in to that vulnerability needed to provide that soft, that soft connection with their children and others, if that makes any sense.
Speaker 2:Well, we're always kind of. I think guys are always only respected for what they can make or provide or their talent or their protective ability, and they're only wanted for these, this very small. It seems, for these very small, like you know, that span of things you know like what kind of job does he have?
Speaker 2:Like marry, a rich guy, marry, that's. There's all those kind of mantras that kind of exist in modern society and it's even gotten to like this, this weird point, where a lot of things that were you know dude things and people just kind of passed off like oh, that's just some guy shit. Guys go to the bar hanging with their buddies, guys wanting to watch sports, guys lift and weights, guys liken their cars and wanting to have like hot cars and they're labeling it like oh, that's toxic masculinity. Now it's like, well, that's all we had man, we like those things.
Speaker 2:And now that we get into this thing where what all you can do now is work and you know, take care of your family or protect people and that's it. That's all you're allowed to want or desire in your life is that and I see a lot of people my age and you know, people I know, and other guys they're just struggling with that, because this is all you should need is to go to work and you know, make money and provide and take care of people. You shouldn't want more than that. So it is fucked up.
Speaker 1:No, and men are getting the short end of the stick. Society puts all of those tasks that pressure on them and simultaneously becomes societies becoming harder and harder to survive. So we have these societal expectations. Women stay home and are provided for, but, like, how are we supposed to expect the men to do the providing in the society that is constantly drowning them, you know?
Speaker 2:Well, and it's like I feel bad for young men. I feel really, really bad for young men.
Speaker 2:And luckily we came up. I came up when I did, but like to piggyback on what I was saying. You know, if that's all we're valued for, is that you know what kind of job you got. You know what can you give, what can you do, what's your talent. So you got a 20 something year old man, but then the women he's trying to date exist in this global marketplace of Tinder and where you're just finding these unrealistic men and seeing these unrealistic things.
Speaker 2:And it's like oh, you know, they feel like because of you know, some rich guy or some athlete swiped on them that that's realistic. Yeah, yeah, they'll go on a date with you, they'll have sex with you, but they're not going to marry you, so you have the. Yeah, it's like the whole incident like we're competing with that too, and women have their own struggle with Instagram and beauty and I think some of that's turned the corner and gotten better, but men still have that like okay, you're not six figures or famous or this or that, like what can you provide?
Speaker 2:That is, I feel, really really bad for young men, because how do you compete? We never had to compete with that, it's like for years. It's like a community. You're in a community, you meet a girl. I can take care of you. I'm a good dude. Maybe you find me attractive. I'm handsome. I take you on some dates. I treat you like a gentleman. It wasn't that hard.
Speaker 1:And back in the day, your standards were set by, like your immediate community, what you could perceive that other people were doing, but now people have access to every else's experiences, no matter where they are. And so, yeah, I agree with you fully. I feel so bad for the men in the generation below me and the generation below that, because they're dealing with that generation of girls who are posting things like you can't take me on a first date to a Starbucks, to Chick-fil-A, like it's got to be a three-star restaurant, and and you got to be six-one.
Speaker 1:You got to have a career. But like these are 20-year-old girls saying this, which will totally cut out the 20-year-old boys, who also need people their same age to grow with, to learn from.
Speaker 2:Well then, just everyone ends up. Single is what you're kind of seeing now, because like 10% of the guys are hooking up with 90% of the girls in the dating pool and then the other 90% of dudes are just kind of, in a tapered fashion, left out and invisible within that dating pool like undatable. So it's sad it's leading more and more men who are younger Sex workers got to pick up Exactly.
Speaker 1:It's leading more and more younger men to pursue sex workers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there are almost two more confirmed cases of sex workers. Well, there's no challenge. Yeah, exactly, it's like and that's not good. I mean, we don't want that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We don't want, you know. We want relationships, we want marriages, we want kids, we want families.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And yeah, that's really unfortunate.
Speaker 2:So back to you know what you did. You saw a lot of this firsthand and you can kind of understand this. And talking with these men and it seems like to some point you're almost kind of a therapist, which is crazy, and I've heard that from other sex workers. Like a lot of it's like therapy, like even people with like only fan's pages and they have you know they can message and chat and it's like a lot of these people just want to talk.
Speaker 1:They just need an outlet and it's such a. It's such a shame that there's such a stigma on mental health, but these people are looking for a connection and they're not finding it in their daily physical life. Like it's so insane that people are connecting so superficially. Now it's sad I've heard so many. You know I'm in college states away. None of the girls here will talk to me. I don't really have any friends aside from people I go to the gym or study with. None of the girls want to date college guys because they don't have anything going for them and so and that wasn't a thing before.
Speaker 2:I feel like I hear a lot of people my age and older that like, oh, we met in college.
Speaker 1:Yeah, things were easier to get for yourself back in the day, like it was easier to provide for yourself, and so, as an extension, it would be easier for you to provide for a partner.
Speaker 2:Where people just cared less, Like if you were a college age girl in the 90s. I just like I'm a college age girl in the in the 90s.
Speaker 1:I don't.
Speaker 2:these are my peers.
Speaker 1:I should probably date one of these people and you don't have, you're not, seeing anyone else, Not having the internet and having that external influence on you was is such a big contributor to dating back in the day Like today. Even the girls who wouldn't mind going 50-50, who wouldn't mind dating somebody who didn't have all of their stuff together are feeling so heavily judged and receive so much backlash on social media that they don't feel they feel like they're doing something wrong, pursuing somebody at a lower level.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's messed up. I mean, we just have a lot of. I think the worst thing the internet's done to our kind of social interactions, our friendships, our relationships, our dating, is just that expectations and and I think that's a lot of parts of life, like, I mean, even as a parent.
Speaker 2:you look at other parents on social media and you're like, oh fuck, like they built a they built a birthday cake castle with, you know, marshmallow drummers inside of it and like all this crazy stuff and you're like man. I look like a, like a tool compared to them, but it's that's something with wisdom that you learn. But yeah. I mean the younger dating pool right now, just fucking that's. That seems like a rack. I hope that. I hope something swings in there. Like, what do you see? Like, do you still do the cuddle thing?
Speaker 1:I have not been a cuddle buddy for a couple years now, okay, but I'm still involved in the sex work industry, on and off. It's it's something convenient for me. I'll pop into the club every now and then, but I'm talking about strip clubs. Yeah, but I'm a, I'm a performer in a much more legitimate sense on my on the other half of my life.
Speaker 2:What do you do there?
Speaker 1:Oh, I model professionally. I've been published. I do brand work for local studios and boutiques out here, user generated content creation. I dance professionally, so I've danced at Fredo, bang and Zatoven concerts. Oh, wow, yeah, I'm a go-go dancer, stilt walker aerialist, so I like to do like atmospheric performances and all that kind of stuff Very fun.
Speaker 2:So we touched on this a little bit before, but I mean, what are your kind of final thoughts? And maybe the future, what, what does the future of this kind of work look like? Like, I would imagine, the cuddle buddy thing only goes up, up, up and you know, online sex work like only fans or people who are creating their own stuff just goes up, up, up or just with this new generation coming, that just doesn't have connection.
Speaker 1:I sex work for sure is going to go up exponentially. I don't know how long cuddle buddies will be a thing, given how independent people are becoming because of VR and things Like. I've had people come into the club and talk. Men come into the club and talk to me about how they're a virtual stripper and so yeah. Anybody. Virtual sex work is growing so intensely.
Speaker 2:But you said VR and a virtual stripper. Like in a headset.
Speaker 1:Yes, he showed me. He showed me on his phone some like screen recording of him and he's like a six, three wolf woman, like measurements being like 42, 29, 43.
Speaker 2:Wait a minute.
Speaker 1:And he was making a bag. So is this?
Speaker 2:like an avatar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so he's what the hell.
Speaker 2:He's like, he's like he's like wearing a made a quest headset and like waving the wands around and I don't know how he's done it, but I'm about to start looking into virtual stripping.
Speaker 1:A lot of strippers are. The physical sex work industry is dying right now, but sex work in of itself is never going to die. Yeah, it's just transferred.
Speaker 2:There's stuff we haven't even thought of yet too. That's I mean, when you talk about virtual reality, I mean that, just man, when you really think about it, and I guess I haven't thought about it too much, but that could be limit, like limit you could have sex dolls that people couldn't plant themselves like into to react, yeah, those deep fate kind of things.
Speaker 1:Like at a certain point in time you're going to be able to like just pick anybody AI. Ai like your neighbor, put it in a little simulation.
Speaker 2:I don't know about my neighbor. He's not my type.
Speaker 1:Like a simulator fantasy with anybody you want.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's, you can definitely see that coming.
Speaker 1:That's where I think we're heading. Sex work won't die, but I don't know how much pedal buddies have.
Speaker 2:I still think there's something like I don't think that could quite die, because there's still something to be said for a human being doing and reacting Well, okay, so if you were an? Ai stripper, you know, or whatever virtual, or if I could make you, you're going to be perfect.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:To exactly what I want, but I feel like there's always something inside of us that wants things to be a little wobby sobby, like a little fucked up.
Speaker 1:Like we want To be human is to be imperfect, I think it's like a core. It's a core desire to want things that relate with you, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like, and I don't think AI can quite replicate that kind of shit yet. Not yet, Like they can make everything perfect, but they can't make it fucked up. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think, with a lot of these different elements, we really want that. We want that connection that you know I love you because you're imperfect.
Speaker 1:That is why only fans took off so intensely. When girls start in only fans, they pop off very fast because people want that connection with them. That's why they're not just watching the porn stars on Pornhub. They like that girl next door kind of vibe, that personal, authentic, attainable person to talk to.
Speaker 2:With real experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like you see, like I saw something that they had published about like Pornhub, on how like amateur stuff is far surpassing like studio stuff, and maybe the camera angles aren't as good or maybe the lighting's not as good, but it's real and even though this one looks better, it looks more perfect. You know it's this one's like a little fucked up. It's a little shaky, but you know it's real people and I don't know yeah. So it'll always be a space for that, at least in the foreseeable future until.
Speaker 2:AI figures out how to make things fucked up.
Speaker 1:Yeah Right, and it's gonna be like oh, you want this.
Speaker 2:It's like the matrix, right Like the matrix. Like they said, like we gave you this perfect world and you've your stupid brains rejected it. That's exactly it man, the AI porn and sex work and the matrix, it all explains it. And they're gonna be like we're gonna make it a little weird. I get it. The human experience your virtual wife is gonna get a headache.
Speaker 1:The human experience is not as unique as people want it to be. We're all going through the same things, but yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, this was really enlightening, and you are. You are a joy to talk to, and thank you for coming in and sharing with us.
Speaker 1:Thank you for having me. I had a blast.
Speaker 2:Good and thank you for tuning in. Until next time, stay out of trouble, we'll see you in church.